Planning your own wedding is no small task. There are countless decisions to make and even more opinions flying at you constantly and without clarity this can lead to regrets later.
What Went Wrong On My Wedding Day (And How You Can Avoid It)
Weddings are magical, emotional, and unforgettable—but they can also come with a long list of “I wish I had knowns.” Reflecting back on our wedding day, there are so many things I would’ve done differently—not because the love wasn’t there, but because I wasn’t fully informed or empowered to make the best choices for us. If you’re a bride planning your own wedding, this post is for you. Here’s what went wrong on my wedding day and how you can avoid the same regrets. Please note I got married in 2012, and there was very limited resources available in the wedding world at the time to help “plan” your day unlike today where most experienced vendors will help you plan every step of the way to support your vision.
1. Choose Your Getting Ready Space Wisely
We had just moved houses, and our getting-ready space was full of unpacked boxes—not exactly ideal for dreamy, clutter-free photos. Make sure your prep space is clean, well-lit, and aligns with the aesthetic of your wedding day. Bonus: prep a box of flat-lay details (rings, invites, perfume, vow books) for your photographer. I didn’t know this was something I should do—and I wish someone had told me!
2. Set Boundaries (and Stick to Them)
I asked for only my bridesmaids to be present while I got dressed, but somehow there were 15+ people in the room—including my mother-in-law—watching me take my bra off. Awkward doesn’t begin to cover it. It’s okay to be firm with boundaries on your day. You deserve privacy, peace, and presence.
3. Communicate Clearly with Your Photographer
I didn’t even know we had a second shooter, so I kept wondering why my partner wasn’t around for photos—turns out, he was being photographed, just not by the main photographer. This is why a detailed, clearly communicated timeline matters. And don’t be afraid to ask for things like sunset portraits or emotional moments like the speeches to be captured. I didn’t—and I truly wish I had.
4. Don’t Let Others Control Your Guest List or Budget
We canceled our honeymoon to invite more people—many of whom didn’t even show up. We spent thousands on guests who ghosted us. If someone doesn’t RSVP by your deadline, consider them out. Harsh? Maybe. But your peace (and wallet) matter more. This also left most of the ceremony chairs and reception tables empty. Food was served that went wasted. Guests didn’t realise until after that those chairs weren’t just “provided” these were additionally we paid out of pocket for that weren’t even used. It also serves as a painful memory as its in all our wedding photos, empty seats, empty spaces, a constant reminder of broken words and promises.
5. If It Feels Off, Speak Up
The limo driver insisted he could pick up both the groomsmen and us girls. I pushed to sort it earlier, but he brushed it off—then days before, it became clear it wouldn’t work. We had to scramble for last-minute transport and money we didn’t have. If you know something feels off, trust your gut and insist on having that conversation earlier.
The limo wasn’t cleaned and didn’t come stocked with anything. We should’ve complained, but we were too caught up in everything else.
Double door entrance to your reception, our venue made us squeeze through one door and our photos are awkward because of it. Instead of showing us cheering and laughing together as we entered, it shows one person and then the other. Not exactly giving connected.
Additionally, we would’ve limited speeches. At first no one wanted to do one, then all of a sudden everyone wanted to do one, which made the MC uncomfortable as the timeline went off AGAIN.
We had a family member offer to record the ceremony, a nice gesture but they decided instead to record the trip unaware of how much storage they had used this meant running out of space to record on the day. We should’ve just hired a professional, rather then trusting a family member who knows nothing about videography on the most important day of our lives together. However, videography wasn’t a priority for us and I would much rather personally invest that into an amazing photographer and no videographer than a low quality photographer AND videographer.
6. Guest Comfort = A Thoughtful Experience
We had no shade or water for guests during our summer wedding, and I didn’t realise until it was too late. Providing parasols, water stations, or even fans can make a huge difference. And—don’t forget bins! We ended up with an extra rubbish fee because the ceremony space was trashed with empty drink bottles, cans, etc.
7. Be Intentional With Your Bridal Party (or Don’t Have One)
Planning a wedding really does reveal everyone’s true colours. Looking back, I wish I had either no bridal party or just one person on each side. I also wish I had seated them during the ceremony for cleaner photos and less distraction.
8. Pick Your Season—and Your Colours—with Intention
I chose a winter blue theme…for a summer wedding. I chose this because the dress flattered everyones body type. Which is great, and I do like that part of my thinking. But, the colour in hindsight it clashed with the warmth of the day. I loved the bridesmaids’ shoes and matching dresses, but seasonal colours would’ve elevated everything. I also didn’t factor in the heat and weight of my dress—I ended the day with severe chafing between my legs. Learn from me: dress for the weather – including your own wedding dress. I wish I also had paid more attention to my hair and veil, as I have very thin long hair curls weren’t going to hold in the heat, and I opted for a short veil. I wish I had gone long and elegant.
9. Elevate the Ceremony Experience
Our celebrant didn’t step aside, so now every photo has her smack in the middle. I also wish we had flower petals thrown during our exit—without them, the photos felt anticlimactic. And worst of all? The mic didn’t work. Guests beyond the front row couldn’t hear a thing, and we only found out after. Make sure your sound equipment is tested!
10. Don’t Be Afraid to Ditch Tradition
I hated our awkward cake cut, and don’t even get me started on the garter toss/flower toss. I wish I had skipped them all—or at least moved the cake cut earlier to avoid killing the vibe. If a tradition doesn’t feel like you, give yourself permission to leave it out. I especially hated having to “fake” a cake cut because the photographer did not want to stay past 6 hours. Understandable as that was her offering, but I wasn’t aware of how rushed it was going to be. This also made guests confused thinking the cake cut was happening when it was a photo op, and then actually happened later.
11. Add Guest Entertainment to Avoid Dead Air
There was a huge delay between portraits and the reception. The venue forced everyone to sign a guestbook (before they could enter the reception) I didn’t even want (thanks to family pressure), which caused over an hour of awkward waiting while we stood around in the heat, exhausted and starving. Looking back, I wish we had fun activities—like a photo booth, live painter, or even lawn games—to keep guests engaged. I think having the guest book placed within the reception space with a small sign for people to do, they would’ve found it and could’ve signed it at their own pace later. Rather then not allowing them in without signing it. I found out years later that the coordinator I had spoke to on email was on maternity leave.
12. Ditch the Head Table
The bridal party table made us feel totally disconnected from everyone else. I’d much rather have had a circular or long table where we sat among our guests and could actually enjoy their presence. I also had staff coming up to me confirming things which were already discussed on email. Frustrating at the time as i just wanted to enjoy the day, the coordinator years later apologised for this disappointed at her staffs lack of ability to handle things while she was away. This led to us wondering off and talking to people separately throughout the night, alot of it I have different memories then my husband and I hate this so much. I wish we had stayed together, united and talked to people together as husband and wife.
13. Prioritise Your Exit
We didn’t do a formal exit. We just… waited around awkwardly for everyone to leave. I wish we had planned something magical—or even just captured the moment of us walking barefoot to our on-site accommodation. That one photo would’ve meant so much.
14. Get Real About Your Photographer
This one hurts the most: we went cheap on our photographer. There are so many missed moments I’ll never get back. No reception entrance reactions, no speeches, no sunset portraits, no barefoot walk in the evening as we left and went to our onsite accomodation. If photography matters to you, invest in someone who values your story the way you do.
15. A 20-minute delay before walking down the aisle that no one communicated to me.
No one told me there would be a delay before I walked down the aisle, so I sat in the car for 20 minutes in the heat, confused and anxious. It totally threw off my emotional momentum. Looking back, I wish someone had kept me in the loop or at least had water, a fan, or something to keep me calm and cool while we waited. To read more on this, click here.
16. The Things We Don’t Regret
It wasn’t all chaos—some choices were perfect:
- We chose ceremony elements that resonated with us.
- We wrote our own vows, read them for the first time to each other on the day and don’t regret it for a second (though we would’ve appreciated guidance on how to write our vows!).
- We hired a decorator to handle setup and pack down—absolutely worth it.
- We trusted a family member to take our cake and cards home—no regrets there.
- We caught up for a family dinner with a few people the night before. We loved catching up with loved ones that travelled from far away privately.
- Having a MC to ensure the reception flowed – this allowed us to not think about “running” the rest of our wedding day.
- We had breakfast the day of, and found this incredibly helpful.
- We packed water and snacks in the limo for the bridal party (my idea!) and they loved this!
- We didn’t spend the wedding night apart and loved waking up together on our wedding day.
Final Thoughts
Weddings are a whirlwind of emotion, logistics, and pressure. You won’t get every single detail right—and that’s okay. But I hope this helps you sidestep the biggest regrets I had. If I could give any advice, it would be this:
Plan with intention. Choose with heart. And never sacrifice your peace to please someone else.
If you’re looking for a wedding photographer that cares about your day as much as you do and will capture it the way you two want with a beautiful eye and attention for detail. Then I would love to hear from you! Reach out here.
